The BIG Picture

When asked to submit an article pertaining to the fire service I have to tell you the first thing I did was laugh. I am well aware there’s nothing funny about training or sharing knowledge that might be life saving. I laughed because I realized that just about every conceivable topic has been addressed over and over again and who would want to listen to a guy that’s been out of the job for 5yrs. and had never made a name for himself outside of his hometown. Then came the flash and I saw the BIG picture.

 Actually as much as the job has changed it has stayed the same and there is a tremendously underutilized wealth of firefighting knowledge on the streets, golf courses, and beaches of America. It was evident after September 11, 2001 by the hundreds of retirees that returned to New York and went to work on the pile. It’s evident at funerals and picnics and everything in between when you see the young bucks listening in awe while the “old timers” tell stories from the “war” years. Personally I learned quite a bit about fighting fires from some of those old buffaloes. It was all part of the BIG picture.

When you are young and new to the job you think you are immortal. You are fearless and want to prove yourself to the senior members. You are learning new things every day and on every run and sometimes it comes at you so fast it can be overwhelming. The things you are called on to do, the things you see and hear in those early years can be a blur when added to all your other responsibilities. Sometimes you just can’t process all that gets stored but its there. The little trick about looking for the bolts on the outside of a door with a fox lock to see which way the bars move. The bit about bleeding the line before entering the fire area so as not to add air to the fire. Your first fatal fire. It all gets stored but we don’t always process it right away. It also becomes part of the BIG picture.

I had about 6 months on the job and was working in an engine company in Brooklyn NY. We got a run for a vacant building fire about 5 blocks from the firehouse. We were there in 2 minutes and the place was roaring. 4 story brick 40 x 60 stand alone. Fire out every window. Type A surround and drown right. Well it turns out that after the main body of fire was knocked down and we went in to mop up we found 2 burnt beyond recognition victims next to a gas can. Obviously failing Arson 101 they soaked the place with gasoline and lit the match from the top floor! I was one of four or five probies working and they made us bag and carry the DOA’s. Only another firefighter can imagine the comments. I was like, are these guys kidding me or what? That was all I could remember about that fire for years until I forgot about it altogether. Not to long ago I got together with some old retired buddies of mine for 4 days of golf, and guess what, that story came up. Only this time a point was brought out that must have registered at the time of the fire but I never gave a second thought to. We were ordered to stretch a 2-1/2” hand line and a 3-1/2” inch line to supply the tower ladder that was setting up in front. As I was screwing the coupling into the gated wye on the tower ladder someone called for water. The Chauffer of the engine was old school and he used water pressure to chase the kinks. The water got to the coupling before I could finish the connection and open the gate and it blew the coupling off the wye and past my head with enough force that it would have taken my head off if it hit me. As my buddy told the story I could feel that big hunk of brass wiz past my face. Then it finally dawned on me. That thing could have killed me that night and I never gave it a second thought for almost 30 yrs. It was just another frame of the BIG picture.

 It’s amazing how much gets stored in your mind over the years that you never get the chance to process. Then all of a sudden you are not doing it anymore and the free time allows you to think back on “the day”. Memories of events good and bad flood back. Moments of fear and triumph pop into your head at the least expected times. Sometimes you feel like your going crazy, sometimes like you MUST be crazy. Other times it’s a feeling of great satisfaction for a job well done. Every firefighter realizes that the job is dangerous and the next run could be your last. It’s engrained in your mind from day one. You can’t dwell on it however because you would never be able to function properly. You teach yourself how to beat back the emotions so you can carry on but you realize that what you’ve just seen or done is not normal. It is however part of that picture.

As you go through your careers you will train and retrain on all the things that will keep you alive so you can someday retire. You will learn new techniques and disciplines and review the basics. Of all the things you will learn the one that matters the most will be the one discussed the least, your sense of well being. It is something that HAS to be addressed. A sound mind leads to a sound body. A sound mind and body leads to sound decisions at an emergency scene and those will get you home to your families at the end of the day. When the most horrific events happen to you deal with them then and there. Let it out; talk it out, whatever it takes. If it is just too much go see a professional. Your sense of well being is just as important as your level of readiness and they work hand in hand.

Hopefully by now you realize where I went with this. This wasn’t about some new knot, or tool. This wasn’t meant to be a revisit to a tragedy or just a “war” story. This was meant to shed some light on the after affects as I like to call them, of a lifetime spent dealing with unimaginable horrors and not taking the time  to process what just happened.  A lifetime of being a tough guy.

Take care of yourselves my brothers and sisters. Your family and friends will love you for it. Your job performance will benefit from it. Most importantly it will help make your retirement years what they should truly be, the golden years. After all , most of us took the job well aware of the risks and dangers. We did it because we truly wanted to help. We did it because we wanted the steady job. We did it for the early ages we could retire at. Whatever the reason, we did it and/or are doing it as we speak. Sooner or later we all ride off to that big firehouse in the sun passing the torch to the new guys. It’s tradition. It’s part of life. It’s part of the BIG picture. Lets all work together to make that picture a happy face.